My Fleep:
New Age
New Age
Growing Up Emotionally is a Process Not a Place
Our thoughts have a powerful impact on our feelings. They
go hand-in-hand in dictating human behavior. If thoughts
are the spark, emotions are the flame. Thoughts are the
forest, emotions are the trees. Thoughts are the war,
emotions are the battle. We become what we think and we
behave the way we feel. Negative emotional reactions are
fear based. Our primitive limbic brain is equipped to fit
primitive survival patterns, in the fight or flight mode.
When we think we are in danger, adrenalin flows into our
blood stream, we are prepared to protect and survive,
emotional reactions take over and we either run away or
fight back. It's hard to separate what comes first, all
systems are alerted. Sometimes emotional over reactions
take over when we are not in physical danger, but perceive
danger real or imagined.
Fear is probably the most profound negative human emotion,
sometimes necessary to survival, but most often irrational.
Yet as human beings we are capable of several more subtle
emotions. Many of them are learned and carried over from
our childhoods. It is important to reflect, identify and
recognize your emotions. In the English language we have
over 400 names for emotions, I have named 108 in my book
How To Grow Up When You're Grown Up: Achieving Balance in
Adulthood to help figure out what you are actually feeling.
Once you recognize your emotions you can modify them. We
all have both negative and positive feelings. Everyone
wants more positive ones. It is usually the negative
feelings that get you into trouble, so you need to identify
and focus on them to enable you to modify, change and
eliminate them if they are problematic. Here are some
clues, if you fly into a rage, or strike out at a loved
one, or overreact to something someone says, your reaction
is childish. That reaction is triggered by some negative
childhood pattern that you have used to protect yourself,
just like you did as a child.
Has anyone ever said to you, "Why don't you grow up!" I bet
it is usually after a childish outbreak. There are two
parts to becoming emotionally grown up. One is to heal from
the childhood hurts and pain, that affect how you respond
emotionally today. The other is to learn better techniques
for handling the emotions that arise from events in the
present.
Often we are unconsciously triggered into childish
reactions by some subtle signal, a tone of voice, a
gesture, words the remind us of a chastisement or
punishment we got by a disapproving parent., an older
sibling, a teacher, or other adult. You may have been
shamed or blamed unjustly for something you didn't do, or
justifably for something you did do and got caught. Your
reaction will be similar to what you felt when you were in
that situation as a child. Perhaps you will be defensive
and angry lashing out in an over reaction, way out of
proportion to the trigger event. Perhaps you will be
passive feel defeated, depressed and withdraw feeling
helpless.
The key to growing up emotionally is to pay attention to
your feelings, they will be very familiar, you have felt
them many, many times. Now go back and try to find the
source, peel off the layers. When you have done this change
your reaction. If you got caught with your fingers in the
cookie jar and got punished for it. Visualize letting
yourself have the cookie and tell your mom it's okay you
deserve the cookie. By doing this you erase the old
reactive behavior and the trigger is gone.We all have a lot
of these triggers. Search and destroy them. As you do so
you will grow up emotionally and adapt with the appropriate
skills to live an emotionally healthy and happy life as a
grown-up.
----------------------------------------------------
Growing Up is a process and changes over the life span.
From birth to death our bodies, minds, and emotions
tempered by our spirit dictate how we function in the
world. The better we take care of all these dimemsions and
more balanced we stay the happier we be will live and the
better our relationships will be.
http://www.lamariposapress.com
Our thoughts have a powerful impact on our feelings. They
go hand-in-hand in dictating human behavior. If thoughts
are the spark, emotions are the flame. Thoughts are the
forest, emotions are the trees. Thoughts are the war,
emotions are the battle. We become what we think and we
behave the way we feel. Negative emotional reactions are
fear based. Our primitive limbic brain is equipped to fit
primitive survival patterns, in the fight or flight mode.
When we think we are in danger, adrenalin flows into our
blood stream, we are prepared to protect and survive,
emotional reactions take over and we either run away or
fight back. It's hard to separate what comes first, all
systems are alerted. Sometimes emotional over reactions
take over when we are not in physical danger, but perceive
danger real or imagined.
Fear is probably the most profound negative human emotion,
sometimes necessary to survival, but most often irrational.
Yet as human beings we are capable of several more subtle
emotions. Many of them are learned and carried over from
our childhoods. It is important to reflect, identify and
recognize your emotions. In the English language we have
over 400 names for emotions, I have named 108 in my book
How To Grow Up When You're Grown Up: Achieving Balance in
Adulthood to help figure out what you are actually feeling.
Once you recognize your emotions you can modify them. We
all have both negative and positive feelings. Everyone
wants more positive ones. It is usually the negative
feelings that get you into trouble, so you need to identify
and focus on them to enable you to modify, change and
eliminate them if they are problematic. Here are some
clues, if you fly into a rage, or strike out at a loved
one, or overreact to something someone says, your reaction
is childish. That reaction is triggered by some negative
childhood pattern that you have used to protect yourself,
just like you did as a child.
Has anyone ever said to you, "Why don't you grow up!" I bet
it is usually after a childish outbreak. There are two
parts to becoming emotionally grown up. One is to heal from
the childhood hurts and pain, that affect how you respond
emotionally today. The other is to learn better techniques
for handling the emotions that arise from events in the
present.
Often we are unconsciously triggered into childish
reactions by some subtle signal, a tone of voice, a
gesture, words the remind us of a chastisement or
punishment we got by a disapproving parent., an older
sibling, a teacher, or other adult. You may have been
shamed or blamed unjustly for something you didn't do, or
justifably for something you did do and got caught. Your
reaction will be similar to what you felt when you were in
that situation as a child. Perhaps you will be defensive
and angry lashing out in an over reaction, way out of
proportion to the trigger event. Perhaps you will be
passive feel defeated, depressed and withdraw feeling
helpless.
The key to growing up emotionally is to pay attention to
your feelings, they will be very familiar, you have felt
them many, many times. Now go back and try to find the
source, peel off the layers. When you have done this change
your reaction. If you got caught with your fingers in the
cookie jar and got punished for it. Visualize letting
yourself have the cookie and tell your mom it's okay you
deserve the cookie. By doing this you erase the old
reactive behavior and the trigger is gone.We all have a lot
of these triggers. Search and destroy them. As you do so
you will grow up emotionally and adapt with the appropriate
skills to live an emotionally healthy and happy life as a
grown-up.
----------------------------------------------------
Growing Up is a process and changes over the life span.
From birth to death our bodies, minds, and emotions
tempered by our spirit dictate how we function in the
world. The better we take care of all these dimemsions and
more balanced we stay the happier we be will live and the
better our relationships will be.
http://www.lamariposapress.com